allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
her vagine was all disorganized.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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