operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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