Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize