We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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