So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
