it was like eating out sand paper
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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