You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
