Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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