maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
