and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
