Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
