I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
