Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize