Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
