he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
