butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm passing your future prison.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
