Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
