HIV tests are more positive than that guy
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize