you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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