Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
