Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
