I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
