you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
