weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
organizing the empties. That sober.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
