Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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