belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
