College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
