wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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