am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sorry my hands just texted you
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
