is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
