Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
NoShamevember. You game?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i out mim tonsoeep
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
