Do you still have your period?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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