forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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