Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
