Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
