babies were throwing up all over the place
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize