He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
