Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
