My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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