i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
