Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
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