Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I intend to get homeless drunk
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
