operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
