So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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