could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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