So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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