What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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