I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
