This is not my ceiling
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
