you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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