There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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