carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
whose ass print is on the piano?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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