Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
