You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Randomize
