Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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