She's JV to your varsity
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
