dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
