I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
