Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
