Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
