He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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