If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
