Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
