That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
