i'm lost and i look like a hooker
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
