I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
